Thursday, April 30, 2009

Statistics made stupid

Here's some pseudo-interesting facts about this highly pixelated news service (sic). My comments are in red. Some of the results have been ommited due to boringness. Others were left in for me to make fun of. I think you'll enjoy the mix.

Last month thousands of our newsletter subscribers took the time to take an online survey about ISRAEL21c and our weekly newsletter, more than 10% of our total subscribers. (10% is an F) The percentage of the response is itself amazing, but what really pleased us is how much the ISRAEL21c newsletter seems to mean to our readers and how useful they find it (I'm as shocked as they are!). Here are highlights of the survey responses.

Results we are proud of:

- 90% of our readers think ISRAEL21c is making a difference for Israel
(First, that's 90% of 10% and that's still an F. Second, can something this vague have any meaning whatsoever?)
- Only 6% think ISRAEL2c is making little or no difference for Israel
(So they're like the fifth dentist who just doesn't get Trident gum?)
- 96.1% of the respondents read our newsletter every week or several times per month
- 74.6% read the newsletter every week
* 78.8% of the respondents read more than just the newsletter headlines
(Alright, these last three are boring figures. But funny because of the use of the decimal to give the impression that this survey is scientific and exact. That's some good PR, which is a good time to mention that's what ISRAEL21c is, a repackaged PR firm masquerading as a news outlet.)

That means that our command the continuing interest of our readers. (This is the sentence as it appears in their survey report. I don't know what it means.)

- In general, ISRAEL21c is delivering the information that people want to see.
(This is not a survey result but their own opinion. How very newsworthy.)

- Our readers do more than read (go on, I'm curious), they forward stories to a variety of people:
ISRAEL21c content is shared readers to a remarkable extent...
(This sentence is stupid for myriad reasons, all of them obvious.)

- 71% forward stories to friends
- 58% forward stories to family
- 23% forward stories to business associates
(that's business associates one would not consider a friend.)
- 8% forward to rabbis
(rabbis outrank teachers and doctors but still no word as how they relate to cops.)
- 7% forward to teachers
- 7% forward to doctors
(take that doctors, you lowly scum!)

- Our newsletter performs well above the national averages:
- 31% of our subscribers open the email and look
(or read? how do ISRAEL21c readers fare as regards the national average for literacy?) as opposed to a 24% national average for non-profit newsletters (that's a rough category. i'd read more non-profit newsletters if only i had the time. or cared.)

Results that surprised us:

- Some 40% of our newsletter readers don't know all of our stories are archived at a website where they can find any story, any time and much more information
(so while they click on headlines, they don't really e"explore" the site?)
* Some 70% of our newsletter readers don't know about our award-winning blog, Israelity focusing on the reality of daily life in Israel
(but they know about blogs right? i mean they're reading this, right?)
* Some 80% of our newsletter readers don't know about our YouTube Channel, which is the #1 most-viewed and #1 most subscribed non-profit, Israel-related channel on all of YouTube
(you got me. i think this factoid is the reason why i was so moved to post this utter waste of time. are they fucking kidding me/us? this idiotic piece of information is giving me brain cancer the longer it floats around my head. get it out! get it out!)

We need to work on getting you, our readers, directed to more information and news about Israel from these other sources. After you read this email, click on one of the above and see what you've been missing! (how many people do they think read this survey all the way to this point? remember, i've cut the most boring tripe out.)

We're listening to your comments: because of you, here are some improvements you
can expect to see:


1. We are upgrading our website and our newsletter format to make both easier to
understand, easier to use and easier to navigate. Changes will be in place in by
April 30th.
(as of today, April 30, their website is and remains at least as inaccessible and jumbled as The Jerusalem Post's. hold on a tic? easier to understand? oh, you mean dumbed down for the idiot masses? that's good pr!)
4. We will be expanding our effort to educate our readers about our three different
products: our "Innovation News Service," our "ISRAELITY Blog" and our "ISRAEL21cdotcom" YouTube Channel.
(i'd rather they provide universal healthcare.)
5. We're increasing our effort to create, sustain and grow vibrant ISRAEL21c communities on Facebook, Linked-In and Twitter.
(on both sides of the online-social-community green line.)

ISRAEL21c, now in its 8th year, is moving ahead with the times. We continue to create quality, original news content for our website and newsletter and now we're blogging, creating multi-media content and establishing a major presence in what some people call "new" media, but we call "now media."
(again, is this an education firm, a pr firm or a news agency? you can't be all three and they're all rather different constructs. oh, i see, they're a "now" media outlet that has tapped into the high-energy world of blogging. holy shit they're hip.)

We very much appreciate our loyal readers taking the time to let us know what they're thinking
(i'm an anomaly. i am not a loyal reader. i've written for ISRAEL21c and Israelilty in the past - their blog is not new. But I'm happy to let them know what i think.), we're making changes to satisfy many of the suggestions and we're working hard to keep ISRAEL21c at the cutting edge of "now media" even as we continue our efforts to place positive (this word is subjective and a news agency would know that, so i guess we can cross that option off the list.) stories about Israel in the traditional media.

We welcome your comments; Write to
info@israel21c.org (or just blog your comments like me. that's as now media as you can be.)