Bezeq: The Zionist Enemy

Fuck Bezeq! It's an improper use of the letter q.

Really, the Israeli telecommunication monopoly is the bastardly side-note to Theodore Herzl's poorly thought out master plan. It is the Zionist enemy and, as such, needs to be dealt with in the harshest of ways - political policy and military action.

Being that the Israeli army is busy occupying the future state of Palestine and due to its general unwillingness to target Jewish or Israeli institutions, I am left with no choice but to turn to Palestinian forces. Not the "could-go-either-way" troops of the Palestinian Authority but the "fuck the Jolice*" hard-core muthah fuckahs of Hamas; and whatever is to the right of Hamas.

I call upon thee all, "Target Bezeq! Show no mercy and be thorough." I assure you that your new mission will be understood, even championed by the Israeli public. Free us of the cancerous Zionist Bezeq entity and you will own our hearts. Accomplish this and we'll drive ourselves into the sea. Though perhaps only during warm weather and by 'sea' I mean within the green line.

Perhaps a brief explanation is in order for the Diaspora folk who I like to think frequent this blog.

When we're talking about Bezeq, we're talking about a monopoly. So it is only fitting to use the board game Monopoly by Parker Brothers for example. You know how when you play Monopoly and the person who holds the monopoly becomes an asshole, doing what he pleases and not giving a god damned fuck about the other people playing? Well, in the world of Israeli telecommunications that is Bezeq.

Luckily, there are a few signs that this era of horror is soon to end - on one hand, due to the unfortunate economic policies of Minister of Finance Benjamin "sodomize the social fabric" Netanyahu. On the other, due to the cable companies having been granted license to establish a competing home phone service over the internet.

May the good Lord deliver his flock from the evil perils of this Amalekite monopolistic infrastructure. Amen.

*Jolice - Jew + police, meaning "fuck the Jews" as conveyed through a very clever play on words.