Monday, May 29, 2006

Music is a force.

By Asi Gal

How many times have you listened to a good song and thought to yourself: “man, that thing I always wanted/needed to do? Now is the time. Why haven’t I done this before?” Well, now is one of those times for me.

You see, the blog is dying. No comments, hardly any writing and so far no big riots have started due to one of our entries. Rumors have it that Ariel Sharon’s stroke was the consequence of Ari’s posting about Taybeh beer but there are disputes on the reliability of the source of that rumor (the source being Ari, of course. And me. And the rumor had failed to spread beyond the circle of the two of us. And Zev. The two of us and Zev. Wasn’t that a band in the sixties, “The Two of Us and Zev” ? Yeah, I think they had an album titled “Shut Your Yap You Sexy Monkey.” But, I digress.)

So it’s time to take action. We posted an old FreshJewce article (www.freshjewce.com, look for it on a future website near you) just so you can see that we have plans for our satire. And that we make an effort. But where are you guys? Where’s the flag burning? Where’s the love making instead of the war making, which is much less pleasant? Or at least where’re your crazy blogs? Or if you have no writing skills, send us money so we can enlarge our circle of hate. And we need to buy some cookies.

So I’m thinking music. If only we could put huge speakers pumping out the Bee Gees or the Rocky theme (or the good vibe, homosexual stylings of The Two of Us and Zev) in the streets, then things would get going. It will be like a heroin rush – with cookies.

Just imagine it: you’re walking down the street thinking about the money you need to make ends meet when suddenly you hear Walter Murphy’s “Flight 76.” You automatically think, “Hey, why do I have to work hard and not get paid enough? It’s time I stepped up to those fat cats up in the Knesset (or Congress if you still live in cap loving America) and change some things around.” Then the tune would changes to “Eye of the Tiger,” then there would be a group of people behind you, cheering you on. You all start walking, quickly and then get into cars. Then, there’s a line of cars from wherever up to Jerusalem (or any other capital in the country you’re in). You get there, you rally and Mike Jackson is in the background shouting “Annie are you OK?!” and you shout back, ”no, we are not OK!” The fat cats come out, the ball gets rolling and world peace is eventually achieved. And you can finally afford that expensive grain bread.

The same can work with just asking a girl out.

So there, if you’re not into Michael then ensemble your own tunes. Do it any way you want. But do send us money!

And rally.
If music got me to writing this, it can no doubt change whatever country you’re in.

9 Comments:

At 6:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Guys, if you're looking for blogging fame then you've gotta play the game a bit. Meaning post more frequently, comment on other blogs (and not just to promote your own post, as with the one on Paradise Now) and put up a blogroll.

Other than that, keep on being as offensive as you wanna be. ;)

 
At 8:29 PM, Blogger mrhawaiianshirt said...

I miss the Radio show.It had music. and talking. And a callin part. And no delay for the censor.

 
At 8:07 AM, Blogger miketheman said...

But seriously, when are at least one of you going to drop by and record a podcast with me? Get the word out there, and fame comes knocking on your door.

 
At 1:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i always read.
i pretty much quote you guys as reliable sources. like for instance the birthright blog. i told my mom about it and it's really thought provoking. mazel tov.

 
At 4:23 PM, Blogger Arie said...

This was at least as shameful as my "make me feel better for my birthday" post, but maybe not as much so as when I threatened to take down the blog if I didn't get comments (14 comments followed that one). And by the way, it was very clear that you were listening to Mr. Roboto when you wrote that. Shame on you, Yozi.

 
At 5:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just burned a "palestinian" flag in honor of your post.

 
At 11:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey! Some of us may read your blog (every single post) but just not comment. Don't worry, we're out here. I like your humor, not to mention the fact that you're an American in Israel and I'm an Israeli in America. I've always been interested in blogging, but never got around to actually doing it. Maybe some day. For now, keep on posting. It makes me sad when sites that I read go away.

 
At 2:17 AM, Blogger Asi & Edo said...

royi,
i'm in israeli in israel. never been to the states. this blog is all i have. it will be easier to get oj to admit he did it than for me to leave this blog ( ialso haven't watched the news for a while. don't know who's hot and who's not. is oj still hot?)

 
At 8:03 AM, Blogger Ari said...

Asi, you idiot, you know OJ's hot. We both have "The Juice is Loose" posters hanging in our bedrooms next to our Cheryl Teigs posters. The question is, when I'm whacking off, which one is it too?

Can I just say that I really don't get the Palestinian flag burning comment.

And, one question to Mr. Hawaiian Shirt guy. Sure, there's no music, talking or callin' in - but on what level are you worried about a censor here? Unless it's the Gillete Censor, that gives me mad shaving irritation.

 

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