Sometimes people don’t live in Tel Aviv.

After almost three years in Tel Aviv, I briefly entertained the notion of leaving the white city. Not to “abroad” of course. That would be reasonable and enjoy the support of both family and friends there who, after nearly a decade of residence in Israel, still entertain the idea that I just may return to the US. They attribute this undying hope of theirs to a glimmer of sanity that they insist still sparkles in my eyes. Well, that’s what they tell me anyway. My friends here nary use the word sanity when describing me – bastards.

As for a potential move I had two major criteria in choosing a new address – a) in Israel and b) not in Tel Aviv. Well, to be certain, three criteria with c) being nothing in a settlement. That must be the sanity my friends abroad were talkin’ ‘bout.

Now, I have already lived in Beer Sheva and, without the cover of studentry, there is no way I would be returning. Also, I have already lived in Jerusalem. While it’s a lovely place to visit, pass the beer nuts.

Additionally, I have spent a decent amount of time on a few different kibbutzim. The first two were religious in nature and, being that I have grown-up since then, I have no real desire to subject myself to a similar theo-fascist agricultural regime. The third kibbutz I stayed on is one of the richest in Israel. Most likely due to their huge plastics factory that operates through the sabbath – all the sabbaths, our and theirs. I thoroughly enjoyed my time there but half a year of picking bananas with a machete hanging from my belt and pruning ten meter high palm trees with a chainsaw in hand no longer seems the viable career choice.

As for new places to explore in this god-forsaken country, I thought of a potential suburb. But the short list f potentials proved moot upon recalling my having grown up in a suburb thus knowing the anti-social horror of such an existence. The answer was an immediate “NO!” Then I thought, “what of the urban suburb option?” But, since you can’t spell urban suburb without the word suburb the answer again was clear, an unequivocal “NO!”

Ah yes, Tel Aviv. I couldn’t remember why I had been looking to leave it in the first place. Just because it’s in Israel? It turns out that I don’t need a theologically based nationalistic identity to live in this city. It’s just a fucking cool city with some fucking great pubs to take refuge in. And that’s enough for me.